Oh, Baby have we got mojo now!

Once again the bully boys of Wall Street have gotten a needle full of Viagra. The smarmy lame-roach Bush Administration has opted to throw our nation’s increasingly questionable capital at an entity that is all hat and no cattle, Citigroup. It should have all of us rioting in the streets instead of just scratching our heads. While the car manufacturers went home to lick their well and rightly kicked asses for having "no plan", Citigroup got away with it. They got no plan either, but they sure got the cash. Thank you, Hank P. Nothing like having a fuck-buddy in the Administration. (Note: not that the car manufacturers should be rewarded for continuing to make dreck, but that's another story.)

Like virtually all of major “financial institutions”, Citigroup is in the business of selling fantasy. Our entire “economy”, starting with the media, is complicit in peddling the fantasy of Americus Triumphus. Practically all of the financial transactions in our economy are based on selling debt --- which is actually a non-thing, an absence of some-thing, a figment of the imagination almost literally. It is the “promise” of fire being sold by displaying a photograph of smoke. In fact, we might be better off assembling all of the cash being promised to Citigroup into a pile and having a wiener and marshmallow roast. At least the rest of us could glean some entertainment and a little heat from the affair. Just imagine: “Live, from Wall Street, the national camp fire…..” It’s always well to bear in mind that each of those “Federal Reserve Notes” is actually worth less than a good log for a real fire.

In essence, Citigroup’s “business” is just another one of those sexy ponzi schemes that have dominated the “economy” by deception and delusion. Like all of its Wall Street brethren Citigroup is just one of the member of an incestuous, delusional, and dysfunctional family of con-artists who have created some dazzling displays of sleight of hand to separate not only you, but our government as well, from its money. (Don’t forget in all of this, that even though the government prints the stuff, it doesn’t actually own all of the filthy lucre we are still agreeing has some value. No matter what, the "federal government" is still the fattest, tastiest pigeon at the grown-up’s table. )

Have you ever asked yourself this: What is the worst thing that could happen if Citigroup went dribbling down the increasingly tattered pant leg of our economy? I think that the worst that could happen is that a few thousand grifters and grifters-in-training would be out on the streets dumpster diving. It's too bad that it would mean more competition for the cast-off bones in an already food strapped population of NYC and the Hamptons, but what the hell. Sure there would be some other fall-out, but nothing of lasting consequence. We'd soon forget Citigroup just like we've forgotten TWA and the Edsel. Some of us “little folks” would get hurt in the fall-out of a Citigroup collapse, but in the long run, not really very many of us, and not really very much. If you think your “retirement nest eggs” would have lost much more value if Citigroup had crapped out, they wouldn't. They’ve already lost whatever they were going to lose whether Citigroup went under or not. It’s only the financial frat boys that would have gotten the shaft, but now they are still going to make out like the bandits they are.

When these corporate wizards of Oz pontificate that Citigroup is one of those giants of the American capitalist system that is just “too big to fail”, what do they really mean? What they really mean is that if it "failed", it would pull down too much of the curtain that has been hiding this unseemly financial system from view. A few of the veils fell when Lehman Brothers evaporated, but the remaining ghouls were quick to dress and hide the corpse. Yet make no mistake, there is still plenty of necrophilia alive and well in DC and NYC. There may be fewer funeral workers on hand, but they are still busily carrying on the undertaking work, and their biggest fear is that their scrawny nakedness will be revealed. (The truth: Citigroup has already "failed", and its formal demise is only a matter of time.)

So what to do to hide the demise? How about the financial equivalent of some of the antics in the film "A Weekend At Bernies"? How about a fast and furious flurry of cash? That's always marvelously diverting and dazzling. OK. Why Just look, --- Already the grifters in charge are praising the government’s largess. “The stock market has opened higher today on the news of the government’s gift to Citigroup,” trumpet the headlines. The rest of us can only stand by in awe with our noses pressed against the glass as the party-goers on Wall Street carry on with yet another delivery of free champagne, caviar and cocaine, thanks to Daddy Warbucks Paulsen and Goofy-the-Prez. And we’re all supposed to rejoice with them as they try to convince us that we too can be just as party-hearty as they are. What, me worry?

Don't avert your eyes, I say. Don't avert your eyes lest you miss, lest you overlook the true obscenity, the vile pornography of unfettered capitalism sticking it to an unsuspecting populace amidst the cheers and gloating of Wall Street. Don't avert your eyes, but be wise and diligent. Take in the spectacle before you and then go home, and plan your garden. You’ll thank yourself next spring ‘cause you’re probably gonna need some real food. The experience of growing your own will feed your soul as well as your stomach. Maybe try some of those heirloom tomatoes that were so popular in the 1930s.

What's old is news again

Now for the latest OLDS. Again today the government announced it was bailing out yet another 'troubled financial institution". This time it's Citicorp. Already the recipient of more than 25 BILLION dollars in direct, no-strings-attached government money, this once apparently robust, seemingly invincible mega-corporation, is going to get more than $20 BILLION in direct hand-outs yet again. However, they are also going to get a federal guaranteed backup of more than $300 BILLION to prop up their failed loans. That's good olds for the stumbling, avaricious financial giant who's credit card lending practices include routinely charging their "customers" more than 25% interest on hundreds of thousands of accounts. I guess it’s just another corporation that’s “too big to fail”!

Do you ever wonder where the money went? I do, but I guess Henry Paulsen and his cohorts don't. While we're in such a good mood and thinking about our vacation homes in the Bahamas, let’s all hold hands and skip down the yellow brick road toward national socialism --- which used to be called fascism. BTW: a belated Happy Halloween! Unless you're Citicorp; then you'll want to shout Happy Thanksgiving! And don't forget to pick up the new Lexus......

Stay tuned for the latest OLDS. Until next time, remember: there’s always a next time.